The Real Meaning Of True Friendship Is Never What You Think It Is And That's Okay

We’re always talking about the importance of friendship. Concepts, words and phrases, like ‘Best friends forever’, ‘Friends till the end’, ‘true friends’ get thrown around so often; I’ve almost started questioning the real meanings behind these.

What does friendship really mean?

Is it about hanging out together, drinking a couple of beers? Is it about sitting together and venting about the guy/girl who was a total jerk, the boss who is really grueling, or something your family did? Is it about fighting over something someone said, or did? Is it about smiling at one another because of a secret inside joke you get that others don’t? Is it all of this? Or is it none of this?

Friendship. It’s such a beautiful thing; such a manipulated thing. Everybody wants it to mean different things depending on what they want, or need, at a particular time. Friendship is relative, then. It is also subjective. And that must be one of the most surprising things I just realized; not to forget, one of the most depressing. People will befriend you when they realize that you have so much in common. They’ll befriend you when they realize the two of you think alike! And then, in a flash, it’s over because you did something they probably didn’t want you to.

In the 21st century, the only true friend you really have is your own self. You can scorn all you want at me. I’ll take it like I take the many other things so-called friends do on an almost daily basis. I find it incredible to meet people who have stayed friends ever since they were kids in kindergarten. How did they manage to do it—put all their grudges aside, put aside worry, work, career and finances and stay friends who remain untouched by any materialist or egoistic effections?

Today, friendships seem to be built more on the number of followers, finances, suitors and career prospects. Nobody cares anymore about the sanctity of the bond. But, hold on a second. Is it just now? Or was this something prevalent even in the past? Were we just to blinded by our misconstrued definitions of friendship to be oblivious to it all? For instance, remember the time when Friendship bands were the ultimate deciders of whether or not you had friends in school? There was a year, I went home with just two friendship bands because we had just moved to a new city and with it, a new school. But, now, when I think back to it, those two friendship bands meant more than the 50 I had gotten the year previous. It’s not about friendship bands. It never was. It was never about getting invited to the popular kids’ birthday parties or about having to go for a sleepover to a friend’s place. That’s where we messed it all up.

Friendship is not about discussing love interests at length, decoding what certain connections and signs mean, completing each other’s sentences or chilling together. Friendship is not about the silent treatment given to someone about something so petty, especially when there might be greater issues at hand. Friendship isn’t about what he said or what you did. It’s transcendental. But, we’re just too busy quantifying friendships instead of qualifying actual relationships. It’s not about whether you met at the workplace or at an ex’s party. It’s not about whether you’re new, or old. It’s not about your social status or your popularity. It’s really not.

At the end of every day, friendship really, only is about the person(s) who cared enough to call you at 1am to let you know it was never your fault that something bad happened; never mind if the advice goes on deaf ears and you’re just crying. The fact that they cared enough to spend two good hours just trying is all that counts. It’s about the person(s) who cared enough to talk you through your anxiety attack at 4 in the morning even when they had to wake up two hours later for work; just to make sure you stay safe. Friendship is about that one person who knows, without you having to tell them, that you’re having a long day, week, or year. It’s all in the look, in the way they are. It’s not about accidental exclusion. It’s about willful inclusion even if you feel you don’t fit in; even if you don’t want to fit in. Friendship is about that one person coming and sitting beside you in a crowded place and just making sure you’re okay. Because sometimes it takes one person—only one person—to realize that okay is okay. Because sometimes, all it takes is one person to truly understand the real meaning of friendship; a meaning which really has no textbook definition, no preconceived notion and no set limit or expectations. Sometimes, this could be someone you just met; it could also be someone you’ve known all your life. It’s not about the amount of time. It’s about the timing.

Friendship can be best described as abstract. It changes shape, structure and realm, depending on the situation and the people. Blessed are those who find such a beautiful experience because they know that friendship really has no definition, structure, or meaning. It simply is what it is. And that’s friendship.

Source: www.mensxp.com