Some people feel a soul connect instantly with their future partners while others build it up with love and trust. If you are a female reader, you have to be certain that the signs your man is giving are those of someone who deeply values you and seeks commitment and find if he is just playing you along till he decides. Chances are he won't change the way he is, and you're better off saving your energy and emotions.
Always Has To Win An Argument
Does he drag your past, points at your mistakes, make fun of your shortcomings? Does he like to remind you of your previous failed relationships? Does he insist on misunderstanding when you offer explanations in your defence or when you try to explain? The right partner will always work on pushing your self-confidence up while the wrong one can hamper it. If proving his point is paramount to him in your relationship, and he is willing to stoop to any level to hurt you during an argument, know that you're fighting a lost battle. All he will do on contradicting him is make you feel stupid.
Doesn't Like To Touch
If he avoids hugging you, holding your hand or he is being physically distant with you, either publicly or behind closed doors, in all probability he has space issues and will forever keep you at an arm's length.
He Objectifies You
Appreciating physical beauty to a reasonable extent is acceptable, but if your boyfriend is constantly objectifying women, by specifying their assets and goes on talking about other women, while you are with him, he not only has no respect for you, he also has a generally poor opinion of women. If he bad mouths, his ex-girlfriends constantly being the victim, your red flag should go up. Run in the opposite direction.
Lack Of Trust
Being a little jealous in a relationship is considered healthy. However, if there's absolute lack of trust, the relationship stands on weak foundation or no foundation at all. The ability to feel comfortable, secure and anchored are paramount. If you are constantly feeling on edge, suffer from anxiety pangs, and are forever anticipating some disaster, you are already in danger zone. If his behaviour makes you question his motives or his whereabouts, there is something amiss. You can't spend your life looking over your shoulder. It will only emotionally exhaust you. If you feel the need to snoop in his phone, wonder who is he chatting with- something is wrong. If he shares information selectively and is wary about his social media life, then there's something about him that warrants your mistrust, he's definitely not the one.
You Think Of Breaking Up Often
If you're fixating on his flaws, he's either not the one you want or YOU are not ready for a serious relationship. Rather criticise your life condition or wish things could be different, cutting him loose will allow you time to grow and gives you the opportunity to meet a guy whose flaws you can embrace, or at least accept.
Cannot Share Your Feelings
Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of him? When you're a giant ball of tears and stress, do you lock yourself into the bathroom so he can't see you at your worst? If you're worried about scaring him away, or fear rejection of not being understood, he's not ready for commitment.
Mr. Right should make you smile through your tears, and be a calming, not stressful, presence. If you're unable to share your aches and pains with him and have to deal with life on your own, maybe you are better off on your own.
Brings Out The Worst In You
Do innocent remarks or jokes result in ugly fights? If he is over sensitive and ultra-reactionary to you, chances are he will not change. You cannot spend half your life explaining to the man you love, what "exactly" you meant! If he puts you down in front of your friends and complains about you to his parents or rolls his eyes when you're talking, you've got to let go of him. Toxic relationships feel good, but we often mistake the intensity of the toxicity with something else.
Avoiding Conflict
Sometimes you might not even recognise the person that your relationship has turned you into. If you feel too insecure, anxious, and perpetually on edge, then rather than avoid conflict you need to understand how bad the relationship truly is for you. It's good to fight, even healthy when done right - without blame or accusations. You are able to voice your hurt and fix issues in your relationship and come to a deeper understanding of each other. Ignoring problems is NOT the same as having no problems at all, even if it looks that way. If you don't have the confidence or the comfort to do so - no amount of ignoring the situation will solve your problems.
Texting His Ex
If he's still texting his ex-girlfriend and claims that it is harmless, and knows that it is making you uncomfortable, he's just not that into you. He is simply keeping his options open. A man who loves you will ensure he's closed his past and will not play on your insecurities.
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